Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Here's Some Food for Thought...
I found these "one-liners" in my inbox this morning, forwarded to me by my mother.
Some of these are pretty good, so I thought I'd share them with you.
Thanks to the anonymous donors -- and thanks to you, Mom -- I love you!
Oh, and make sure you chew real good before you swallow -- I wouldn't want you to choke on any of these!
(There I go, sounding like Mom...)
"Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited -- until you try to sit in their pews."
"When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there."
"People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church."
"The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: 'And in conclusion...'"
"If a church wants a better preacher, it only needs to pray for the one it has."
"God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?"
"To make a long story short, don't tell it."
"Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set."
"We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges."
"I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?"
"A lot of church members who are singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises."
"Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous."
"Don't put a question mark where God put a period."
"Forbidden fruits create many jams."
"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."
"God grades on the cross, not the curve."
"God promises a safe landing -- not a calm passage."
"He who angers you, controls you!"
"If God is your co-pilot -- swap seats!"
"Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!"
"The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us."
"The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you."
"We don't change the message, the message changes us."
"You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him."
"The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given."
"The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose -- but mosquitoes come close."
"Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong."
Heimlich Maneuver, anyone?
// posted by theChurchGuy @ 10/15/2003
